Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Being aimless..

It was a day I had hundred reasons to laugh. I looked upon the sky and said I wanted to cry. While I do so, I had no idea if God existed or not. Perhaps, it was out of a habit I did so. And, the reason to cry was not known. As in the ghost movies, I expected a lightening to tear the sky apart, so that a figure could get revealed through the shimmering chasm. Nothing happened for a minute. I continued to walk straight through the leading path facing me, which actually said I had nowhere to go. I could sense a shiver within me because I was aimless. I had no past, no future. There was only a haunting present.  It was truly haunting. I felt as if I am lost.

Namelessly, a rain poured. Once again I looked to the sky, to see if a character had appeared. The sky was dark, in a shade of blue, which reminded me the colour of poison. However, I had never seen a poison. Yet my mind visualised it in dark blue.  I am unaware of the significance of the dark blue. But something from inside told me it is dangerous. Still, I continued to walk. I had nothing better to do.

After 1km, the road had a turn to the right. I decided to go through that turn. It was more shabby and unclean. I didn’t care the dirt that stuck to my slippers. The creepy sounds of insects never bothered me. I was only concerned about the reasonless fear within me. And, there I saw, a little girl, wailing. Her eyes reflected the fear I had. But those were not reasonless. There was something strong behind her tears. I could sense she was not aimless. I could feel she had a past, a present and an aspiring future. For few moments, my thought was only that little girl. My mind dragged my body towards her. Neither the feeling to cry, nor the feeling of directionless was lingering in me. As I queried her, took her with me and walked far, I felt a new energy. I felt to laugh. Now I know why I wanted to cry. It was because I was aimless and had no future!

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